Kat's Rambling Mind

Ever seen someone in the grocery store that you think you know, but their name and place you know them from just won’t come to you? You lock eyes, and smile as you get closer to them, and all the while a growing sense of panic is alarming you to the fact that you cannot possibly remember who this person is in the next two seconds.

Suddenly, you’re face to face in the frozen food section, just between the frozen peas and the ice cream aisle. You discreetly scan their shirt for a possible work nametag; after all, it’s after five o’clock. Maybe they’re coming from work. You are, because you need chicken and a can of tomato sauce for dinner. You’re suddenly aware that your feet hurt a little. And there’s no nametag.

“HIIIII! How have you been?”, they say cheerily, oblivious to the fact that you have no earthly idea who they are.

“Oh, I’m great, how are you?”. You return their serve, desperately racking your brain in the meantime.

“Good, good. So did you hear the news about Susan?”, they ask. Oh my lord, you think to yourself, who is Susan? You can’t even place them, much less Susan. But at least you have a name for someone, even if you don’t know who she is.

“No, what’s happening?”, you reply, thinking this may spark some recognition somewhere deep in the recesses of your brain.

“Well, you know that she and Tom are getting divorced. He’s run off with the girl that works at the Jif-E-Mart. Tom is acting a plumb fool over that girl, who is way younger than he is. Susan is well rid of him, in my opinion.” You nod in agreement. Tom is a dog, indeed. Poor Susan, whoever she is.

“So, aren’t you going to ask?”, they say with expectation.

Oh no. Oh, dear. Ask what? The price of tea in China? The million dollar question? Ask WHAT? Your mind darts around to the corners of your mind for a response.

“Well, I started to, but I didn’t want to pry, you know? So how’s that going?”, you blurt out helplessly, hoping for the best.

“It’s going GREAT! I always did love makeup, and I really love being a registered Millie Karen consultant. Hey, we’ll have to set you up to host a party! “, they say with the enthusiasm of a high school cheerleader who just had two Mountain Dews and is the keeper of the team Spirit Stick.

DAMN. Did not see that coming. You nod and smile agreeably, thinking maybe some eye cream wouldn’t hurt at your age, after all. It wouldn’t kill you to host a party, and then maybe you could finally weasel a name out of them.

“Sure, we’ll do that soon”, you reply.

“Great! Here’s my number, just call me and we’ll get you all set up!”. Okay, but when I call, who do I ask for? Or am I going to have to go the rest of my life performing mental gymnastics so that I don’t let this nice person realize that I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE?

“I certainly will, we’ll do this soon!”, you repeat with a grin, displaying all the confidence of a three-year old in a Batman shirt. You’ve navigated the waters of social awkwardness with aplomb. She turns and briskly walks toward the checkout, and you’re free to peruse the selection of tomato sauce at your leisure now.

Just as you’re wheeling your cart down the bread aisle, you suddenly have a thunderclap of memory as you reach for a loaf of Sara Lee Honey Wheat.

SARA. HER NAME IS SARA.

You scribble her name and the words, “eye cream” on the slip of paper with her number. On your way out of the store, you pick up a book titled, “101 Brain Teasers and Memory Tricks for Seniors”, and head home.

Oh, and you forgot the chicken.