Kat's Rambling Mind

I lost my friend Angela yesterday. It wasn’t sudden. I knew it was coming for the last few months, but I still wasn’t ready to lose her. Of course, we’re never ready, are we?

I’d known Angela since first grade. I spent a huge chunk of my childhood at her home, sleeping over on Saturday night, and going to church with her family on Sunday morning, and being teased by one of her older brothers during the quiet parts of the service. I remember helping her with her chores because the sooner she got them done, the sooner we could go outside and play. In fact, our elementary and middle school years were filled with all the fun things that young girls did in the 1970s. Movies, popcorn, teen magazines, lip gloss, roller skates. She was a huge Shaun Cassidy fan, and had his poster on her bedroom wall. She also loved the movie “Grease”, and knew all the words to all the songs.

Like tween girls did back in the day, we had nicknames for each other. She was “Alex” and I was “Pepper”, for some reason that I can’t remember now. We would joke that we needed our own TV show as teenaged crime fighters, just like “Charlie’s Angels”. There was a pool at a local motel down the street that would let locals swim for a dollar, and we hung out there a lot in the summer. Of course, we had to work in the vegetable garden her family had behind their house first. Mostly, we just had pure, innocent fun, and we laughed…a LOT. Angela had a fantastic sense of humor and could always make people laugh.

As we started high school, we remained friends, although we drifted into different circles a bit. After high school, things weren’t quite so innocent anymore, and we went down a darker path together for a while. Eventually, I moved to the next town over to work, and we drifted apart again. She moved out of state for several years, started a different life, and had a wonderful son.

When she moved back home in recent years, we would see each other around in the grocery store. We tried to get together a few times, but miscommunications and life in general got in the way. You always think there’s time, until there isn’t.

Angela was beautiful, a tall, striking brunette with green eyes. I’m pretty sure every boy in high school had a crush on her, and with her quick wit, easy smile, and sweet heart, she was everybody’s favorite friend. I never heard a harsh word said about her, which in a small town high school is quite a testament to her personality.

Alcohol took Angela away from us yesterday morning. I’m not angry with her, having fought my own battles with alcohol as well. I’ve been sober almost a decade now, so I understood where she was and what she was going through. Unfortunately, we never really talked about our mutual struggle. She became sick so quickly, and I didn’t realize until then how bad things were.

As usual, when someone dies from substance abuse, those left behind wonder if there was more they could have done. I’m wondering now if I’d reached out more, or pushed the issue, if it would have made a difference. Logically, I know that the only person who could help her was herself, but my heart is hurting and making me grieve for that beautiful brunette I knew and loved.

I don’t really know how to end this post except to say that my friend Angela, although gone, is free now. Free from pain and the earthly bonds that held her often troubled spirit here. She is at peace, and I pray that she’s resting easy now. I’ll always remember her, I’ll always love her, and I’ll always miss her.

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please know that help is available. Click on the following links to learn more.

https://www.aa.org/
https://www.samhsa.gov/substance-use/learn/alcohol
https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/brochures-and-fact-sheets/treatment-alcohol-problems-finding-and-getting-help